This year God has taken me on a journey to dig deep within, which seems contradictory to the word Rise he placed on my heart back in January. I don’t think I misheard Him though; I believe this is a “both/and” situation. He is calling me to both dig deep and rise up. Each year when God places a word on my heart, I write about it and I love going back mid-year to read those words. Here is an excerpt from what I wrote about RISE in early January:

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“As 2018 was coming to a close, I could hear God whisper to me, Rise.

He is calling me to rise. To keep my gaze lifted towards Him and to let go of that which pulls my heart away.

He is calling me to rise. To move farther into the calling He has placed on my life and to let go of that which is holding me back.

I’m learning that when God calls me to do something uncomfortable, there’s something so much greater than I could ever imagine on the other side. Something that will leave me grateful that I stepped out in faith and followed Him, that I honored His whisper to me.”

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In full disclosure, the word RISE had me believing God was calling me to rise into my purpose this year; to begin writing my book and be a vessel of encouragement through keynote speaking. Since writing these words though, I’ve discovered that before I can rise, I needed to go deeper. Part of this excerpt that sticks out to me today is “let go of that which is holding me back” and “God calls me to do something uncomfortable.”

This year God is revealing to me that I need to go deeper in relationship with Him. I need to look deeper within myself to uncover and heal wounds caused by experiences I long to forget. Wounds that have been holding my spirit in bondage.

Talk about uncomfortable. God knew the discomfort He was calling me to back in January. I thought I knew.

As I wrestled with this revelation, I envisioned myself walking around speaking to others about my own healing through Christ. Simultaneously, I’m covered in bandages, masking wounds that quietly fester. “I’m healed!” I shout, wanting all to believe I’ve been made whole, but I know what lies beneath the bandages; I know that I’ve not fully entrusted my healing to God; afraid of the pain that comes from removing bandages now stuck to deep, raw wounds. But exposure is a necessary step in the process of healing. Easy? No. But God doesn’t call us to do what’s easy. He wants to shine His light on the things we try to keep in the dark. 

I’ve been frustrated and resistant. Can’t I just forget those things and move forward in my purpose? Haven’t I healed in enough? Can we skip this part?

Nope.

It’s occurred to me, how I can lead others down a path of healing that I have not been willing to walk myself? How I can bring glory to the Healer, when I’ve not allowed Him full access to heal me?  I remember a quote from a Lay Counseling seminar I went to called The Glorious Mess: “you can’t take others where you yourself have not gone.”

So. Much. Truth.

Darn it.

God has revealed to me that the deeper we go with Him, the deeper He is able to heal our souls. Healing is not something to be done alone, but with Him by your side. When we allow those old wounds to heal, old ways of thinking to be renewed, and unhealthy patterns to be changed, it makes way for us to rise-up in Him and to fulfill the purpose for which He created each of us.

So, I’m choosing to obey. I’m linked arm in arm with God and walking into the depths. He knows what’s down there and He will cast it all out.  

I will dig deep and rise up.

“You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back.”  

Isaiah 38:16-17

So, my question for you dear friend: Where are you being called to dig deep so that you can rise up in Him?