Perseverance (n):

Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

Steadfast (adj): fixed in direction; firm in purpose

Persevering – This is my season.  It has been for quite some time but it wouldn’t be a season of perseverance if it was over quickly, now would it? Hence the above definition “despite delay in achieving success.” There’s nothing quite like having to be active through something we find difficult with no win in sight, especially in a culture that promotes quick fixes and instant gratification.

I believe it’s important for others in the midst of a trial to hear from someone who’s down in the trenches too. I’m not coming to you “from the other side” of things, although I believe one day I will and it will be a powerful story. Instead, I’m meeting you in the here and now – where life is a complicated mess and the idea of achieving my success feels like a distant feat. More than I’d like to admit, it’s a difficult space for a perfectionist to write from, but I have discovered the best way to grow is by doing. {insert muscle flexing emoji}

Perhaps you are in the midst of a whirlwind too: divorce, relational challenges, health issues, addiction, financial hardship, death of a loved one, depression, anxiety, and more.  You’re trying to gain traction or a sense of direction and seeking a place of rest and refuge from the flying debris of life. These things can break you down if you allow them.

Please, allow them.

Yes, you heard me. Just so you don’t have to go back and re-read, I’ll say it again. Allow yourself to breakdown, to come undone.

It’s in these moments, if you allow Him, that God is able to build you up into someone much stronger and wiser than you ever were before. A Masterpiece. The seasons that rock us to the core are an opportunity to strengthen our faith and build our character, if we allow them to.

I’m far from an expert on persevering (if there is even such a thing?) but I do have a passion to share with others what I have found to work for myself, in hopes that even just a sliver of it can help or encourage someone else. My hope is that through these words, a down and dirty glimpse into my life, you will feel equipped with some tools, strategies, thought processes, and more.

1. Learn God’s Character

I found myself thinking one day – how did I come to trust my most beloved friends?  I began thinking about the progression of these relationships that lead to such trust. Our relationship grew to the depth that it is now because we spent time together, and in spending time together I learned their personalities, how they think and why, how they treat others, how they love, support, and challenge themselves and others. This quality time together also opened the opportunity for me to entrust them with pieces of my life. Minor at first, and as they proved themselves trustworthy, I moved on to bigger things…. and it was at this moment in my thoughts that God whispered “This is how you grow to trust in me; get to know me and spend time with me.  

I began spending more intentional time with Him, digging into His word and what it says about how he has showed up for others. I began to realize that what I was taught about God was pretty flawed: He’s angry, I have to earn His love, He is distant, etc.. Once I started to wrap my head around His real characteristics: unconditional love, unending grace, faithful, all-knowing, protector, just to name a few, I began to reflect on my life and where I have seen Him show up in accordance with those traits. I began to remember my least favorite memories a bit differently as I began to see how God was with me in those situations. Then I realized my current circumstances are no different. I know he is here, because He never leaves- Ever! Dear Friend, God yearns to have a relationship with you, and there is a space in our hearts that yearns for Him. God wants you to know and trust that He is here with you every step of the way, comforting you; He will see you through this valley. I love what Psalm 18: 28-30 says:

2. Chose Joy.

Though I have grown in my ability to choose joy, this one is still challenging for me. What do you mean by “‘chose joy’ Christine?” Well, I’m glad you asked. This is best explained by starting with what I DON’T mean: feeling happy. When I think about my circumstances, I can easily justify the feeling and action of staying down in the dumps. I can even VALIDATE those feelings by sharing them with someone else who agrees that I “deserve” to feel the way I do. “I don’t blame you for feeling {insert negative emotion}.” Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying not to express your emotions in a healthy way; however, it is not productive nor mentally/physically healthy for us to wallow or set up camp in that space. Choosing joy is intentional gratitude and appreciation, not a feeling.

Philippians 4:4 says this:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again, I will say Rejoice!”

This is a call to action- twice! It takes effort and intention, unlike emotions and feelings. Phil 4:8-9 continues on…

“whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. . . practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

When you chose to focus more on what you have to be thankful for, and less on what is “wrong”, you can begin to experience peace in the midst of it all.

There is an analogy about an arrow, perhaps you’ve heard it before. It goes like this: An arrow must first be drawn back in order to be launched forward. My journey of perseverance is much like an arrow; I had to look back and reflect on the moments when life “pulled me back” to understand where I was being launched. One of these moments was the October 2016, when I was technically homeless for a brief period of time.

I was making strides in leaving an abusive marriage. In April 2016 I had cut off the physical and emotional part of my marriage; however, we were still residing in the same home, mostly because I believed his lie that I’d “never be able to make it on [my] own.” About 5 months into the “separated-but-living-together” scenario, the abuse began to escalate from mental and emotional to physically threatening. I was left with 2 choices: let it continue or stand up for myself and my daughters.

I chose to stand. I had finally come to a place where my trust in God to take care of us was greater than my fear of the unknown.

I filed for a protective order the day before my 28th birthday and was granted permanent protection 2 weeks later. I was given the choice to stay in the house we were renting or move. Honestly, the house, no longer a home, had become tainted with memories I wished to forget. The lingering smell of his cologne; The sound of the garage door opening; The sound of those door knobs being jiggled from someone on the other side; all triggers that altered my emotional state and sent my anxiety sky high. I wanted to leave it all behind and start somewhere new. So, taking my 2 small children, I left without a permanent place to live.

Aside from the emotional struggles we were facing, there were strains of “regular” life. I worked full time and my daughters were still navigating how to adjust to their new schools and being apart from each other during the day. At this point, I think if I had sat in a closet, didn’t come out, and cried for days, people would understand.

But I didn’t.

Through all the tears (which were a lot) and heartache, I chose joy. I chose to see God in it all because I knew He was with us; that He would not only guide me through it, but that what He had in store for us was far greater than I could ever imagine. I spent most of my days mentally listing out all I had to be thankful for:

I had finally broken free. A loving friend graciously took us into her home, despite the unknown of when I’d be able to secure housing or that she had 2 small children of her own. I had a stable job that had recently given me a mid-year raise, which was unheard of in the industry. My family was loving and supportive, despite the 6 hours distance. I had a few wonderful, local, friends who supported me almost 24/7. I had a church family. I had car. We were all healthy. My kids had loving and gracious teachers.       God was in control.

Then just like that, I was covered in a peace far beyond my understanding, but I knew the source. My God of Peace was there with me, just as He promised in Philippians, and would see me through the valley {psalm 23}. He is there with you too and He will see you through. <3

In a “Part II” post, I will share additional strategies that have helped me in my journey of perseverance. In the meantime, I hope you will take the time to process these words and dive into the scriptures I’ve shared here; or perhaps in reading this, God spoke new words to you or brought to mind a scripture I didn’t share – I beg you to explore that and dig deeper!

Lastly, I want to share two songs that help me on the days I feel like giving up:

“Stronger” by Roy Tosh, feat. V. Rose

“I’ll Find You” by Lecrae, feat. Tori Kelly

 

Pushing Forward in Faith,

Christine