“You’re so Brave”

It’s a phrase that often follows someone reading or listening to my story, yet I feel undeserving. Not because I think I’m a coward or anything, but more because I feel like an ordinary person who has received such an abundance of something so extraordinary that it overflows from my heart. They view it as bravery, but in my heart I knew it was something else.

It has been said that being brave is not the absence of fear but overcoming in spite of the fear. I do believe this; still, for me, I don’t feel like “brave” is quite the right fit. I began to ponder the root of what fueled me to not only overcome but to be vulnerable in areas that so many fear to be vulnerable, myself included. I wanted to figure this out so that I could share with others. Recently I came across a well-known verse, 1 Corinthians 13: 2-8, in which Paul writes about Love. These particular verses struck me (bold added for effects):

“If I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Perhaps you recognize this verse, as it is often used during wedding ceremonies. The irony that God lead me to this verse in the midst of my divorce has not escaped me. He has such a sense of humor.

This go-around though, the message for me was less about the romantic type of love and more about loving myself and accepting the perfect love God has for me. To clarify “loving myself,” I do not mean making sure I take a spa day, catching up on sleep, going to the gym, or eating healthy, although ALL are great forms of self-care. Rather, God revealed to me through this verse how far I have grown in loving myself as love is defined in the verse above. I am more patient with myself and the process I need to heal and grow, I no longer envy the life that I dreamed would have been, but embrace what is, I practice self-respect in the form of healthy spiritual, emotional, and physical boundaries, including celibacy *GASP* Yes, in today’s world there are people who decide to abstain from sex on purpose, for a purpose – blog post on this in future. I practice self-awareness and being honest with myself, and I am more forgiving towards myself for mistakes made. I am sharpening the skill of guarding my heart while remaining soft, I am more trusting of my intuition, and I am hopeful. Without knowing it, over the last 3 years I have been growing in truly loving myself, forgiving, and embracing my story, because despite how messy it may be – it’s made me who I am today; a woman whom I love, respect, and trust.

Then there’s the love God has for me. For you.

It’s so perfect, never ending, unchanging, and fully trust-worthy.

He will not use you, abuse you, or forsake you. He seeks out your heart and knows that every part of you is worth knowing and loving. It’s an extraordinary love that gives you strength, courage, and peace. It coats you in amazing grace. Nothing you do will ever change it or make it go away. So different than the worldly love; it’s unconditional. No strings attached. And if you accept the love He pours into you, it will overflow in the most beautiful way into all areas of your life. A glorious flood in a parched world. A steady light in uncertain darkness.

It’s one thing to hear about God’s love and another thing when you begin to feel it within the depths of your soul. While I have my off days (or weeks), I’ve grown more receptive of the love that God has for me, which is why I have grown in loving myself. By accepting His love for me, I finally understand that I am worthy of being loved, respected and cherished.

There’s this song by Elevation Worship, which I’ve basically been listening to on repeat, called “Uncontainable Love.” If you have not listened, stop reading now and go listen… seriously. I love the song in its entirety, but these particular lyrics strike my heart every time:

“Your love is deep enough to reach

The deepest parts of me

Your love, uncontainable,

Your love,

Fear I used to know

Can’t stop me anymore

‘Cause I found your love.”

His love will reach into the deepest parts of our souls, and the uncontainable love we experience will overflow from our souls and drown the fear. As I was driving, listening to this song and thinking on 1 Corinthians 13, I finally realized what was propelling me to overcome fear and be vulnerable. Love.

Perhaps I am brave; but more than that, I am loved.

That’s the root of it all.

Love.

Love conquers all.

Love drives out fear.

Love gives me the strength to overcome despite the circumstances because I know it will never give up; It is trustworthy.

And who is Love? God. He doesn’t just love us, He IS Love.

This is how I overcome and share; not because I am brave, but because God, who is love, loves me and has taught me how to love myself. Despite the mess and mistakes, His love helps me understand there is a message worth sharing: God loves you and is for you.

With this truth buried deep in my heart, I am able to embrace vulnerability and write or speak about how God is working in my life. Will there be people who criticize, doubt, disagree or maybe even make fun of me? Undoubtedly. But when I am rooted in the truth of Christ’s love for me and am focused on sharing His glory and love with others, I feel unstoppable.

I am unstoppable- you are unstoppable- because His love is uncontainable.

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Below are some actions I have taken over the last several years that have helped me in learning and accepting God’s love and becoming more loving towards myself:

• I submerged myself in God’s word in all ways I could think of: reading scriptures, following social media accounts that posted scriptures and inspirational messages of faith, listen to Christian music more and other music less, read faith-based books, and listen to faith-based podcasts
• I began learning about setting boundaries and started implementing those boundaries – even when they didn’t necessarily align with “culture norms”
• I began seeing a Christian counselor (and still do) to help with self awareness, emotional healing, and changing unhealthy thought processes, habits, and relationships
• I opened my heart to a few trusted friends/mentors to help keep me accountable
• I surrounded myself with people who are genuine, honest, loving, encouraging, challenging, trustworthy, and respectful
• I began to disconnected myself from people, music, activities, etc. that did not align with my journey of growth, change, self-love, and resting in God’s love.

Reflection:

What are some ways that you are accepting of God’s love?

Think of one additional way you can be accepting of God’s love for you.

♥

What are some ways that you show love (as described above) to yourself?

What is one additional way you can be more loving towards yourself?

Loved & Brave,

Christine